Wednesday, April 9, 2014

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Guess who called me Monday night?

Yep, he's working toward that cow boy hat.

I talked to Jackson's teacher Monday and she said they have changed the time of day he takes his Intuniv and it is helping him during the school day to need less cues to stay on task.  They have not added a stimulant at this time.  She said homework is no better but he is gaining some confidence in his class work.  He is showing a bit more motivation.  Yeah for baby steps.  I will be attending his IEP next Tuesday and visiting with Jackson.


I then talked to Mrs. Therapist.  She said his school day cues have decreased but his cottage cues have increased since the med adjustment so she is not sure what the psychologist will end up doing.

I also got word from the SW this morning that Jackson needs new shoes. He has been trying his best to get new shoes since right after we took him.  Well, Mrs. Therapist informed me that he has torn the insides out of his shoes.  So I have been asked to bring him new shoes when I come next week.  I guess if you can't make your foot grow you can always tear your shoes up.  UGH

Then we talked about the phone calling situation.  Part of Jackson's plan is to have "regular, child initiated, appropriate phone contact with parents".  To fulfill this "baby step" of his treatment plan he is to call us two times a week for 4-5 weeks and she will be getting with us to find out if he is appropriate and respectful when talking to us.  She said it is more about the appropriateness rather than the actual call but also said my calls don't count toward his goal. (A bit contradictory but whatever) With a 4-5 weeks span I am not sure he will follow through.  Time will tell I guess. I understand they want him to have appropriate contact but it still stings that we have tried everything (except a good bribe) to get him to call us and nothing has worked.  But, a bribe has the phone ringing.  Huh.


When Jackson called tonight I asked him what was going on with his shoes.  He said he didn't know what happened but the insides just started coming out and it was bugging him so he ripped it out.  I am not sure what to believe but either way he will be getting some inexpensive shoes next week.  He is destroying his clothes and shoes and I will not be sending anything nice from now on.  I keep all my boys' clothes and pass them down but I won't be able to pass anything I sent with Jackson down. He has destroyed all of them!

I just keep reminding myself that even though things are still frustrating and he is still manipulating he is where he needs to be, we are blessed by this facility and our family is getting an opportunity to heal.  Praise be to God for this time of healing!!!


In the midst of all the chaos of the past several years I was blinded to the suffering of my other children.  Little by little things are coming out, even in the most unusual ways, that are so eye opening to the damage that has been done to their sweet hearts.

Peyton told me today that he had a really bad dream:  "Jackson was trying to get to you."  Oh, was he really sad, was he crying?  "No, he was really mad at daddy and the lightening came and killed daddy and Jackson. It was so sad."  I didn't ask anymore questions.  :(  Bless his sweet heart, he was about to cry telling me.

I know it was just a dream and don't know that it means anything specific but still a bit eye opening and freaky, if I am honest.


  1. I worry about my other children...I'm going to a conference the end of the month and taking a workshop on that very issue...but I'm rather afraid that everything they suggest will be hard to implement... Glad you all are having time to heal!

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  3. Wow. The things that come out will hurt your heart, but the kids finally sharing them will be healing for them on some level. When I went to my youngest sons' parent teacher conference (when he was in kindergarten) his teacher informed me that he occasionally looked very concerned and worried. When she asked him what was wrong he told her that he was afraid that his brother was going to kill mommy and daddy when they were asleep and he didn't want that to happen so he was trying to figure out how to keep us safe. Very shocking, very eye opening, very disturbing. HOWEVER, knowing this we were able to reassure him (and take additional precautions based on what our youngest was being told by his brother) which went a long way. These are never things we want to hear because it makes us feel like that one child has literally stolen away precious childhood moments from our other kids who we thought we were protecting.

    As for the clothes/shoe destroying......I have several kids who still do this for attention. It is especially great when I refuse to replace 3 week old tennis shoes AGAIN and the school calls asking if we need a donation (from lost and found of all places!) so that said child will have appropriate footwear for gym class. It makes me nutty!!! I have just resorted to buying everything from garage sales, not giving him the nice, expensive looking, hand me downs from older sibs and trying to stay ahead of him by always being on the lookout for deals. It stinks that we are having to participate in this game with them! What about natural consequences? You ruin your stuff, you have less stuff - simple.

    I hope Jackson can keep up the calls - ON HIS OWN and actually be appropriate. I think it's iffy whether he can go that long completely without them prompting him though.


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